Writing Without Angst

In my post-spiritual-shift life, many things have changed.

Oddly, animals seem less afraid. This little guy was in a tree nearby when we were hiking. I asked it to pose for me so I could get a picture. It immediately ran away. But it stopped in a new location and waited while I struggled with my camera, focusing through the branches.

As my interest in writing for children re-emerges, I’m working differently. I spend much less time at it, but when I do work, I’m remarkably productive.

Submissions don’t worry me, mostly because I don’t really care right now. When I find a submission call that looks appropriate, I submit, and move on to the next thing, completely skipping the old stomach churning anxiety.

I had a series of edits from a watchmaker that felt intimidating, but I just whipped through them this week, seeing the solutions, the changes, the research needed.

I suspect much of the big deal for me about submitting and editing was the mental grief I added to the process, the omg omg I’m crap no one is going to like this why am I bothering.

Now I simply do or do not. Okay, that sounds far too much like Yoda. But it’s true – I do, or do not, and skip the angst. Well, most of the angst.  It still creeps in sometimes. But I recognize it now, laugh, give it a pat, and get back to work.

Maureen

Inspiration Returning

I’m a long term Buddhist and meditater. Early this year I had a deep fall into a spiritual shift ­– what some teachers call an awakening, a profound shift in perspective. As part of that shift, many things fell away, including any interest in writing for children. That’s slowly returning, as is a renewed interest in blogging.

One of the new interests that’s emerging is a desire to look more closely at the connection between meditation and writing. How does going deeper in meditation help or hinder writing?

I have argued for the great benefit in being able to come to the page with a quiet mind. However, with a deep enough spiritual shift there is clearly a risk of things falling away, like the urge to write for children fell away for me. Instead, poetry about the spiritual shift I’ve been going through arose. For a not-poet, this was pretty strange.

Now stories for kids are emerging again, but in a new way. It’s as if a tap turns on, and I write until it’s turned off again. It’s simple, straightforward, and brief. I haven’t completed anything. It’s not at all productive, although I suspect that it’s deeply focused and effective writing, which might be more productive in the long run. Mostly, though, I have to surrender to a complete lack of control. And yes, that’s exactly as difficult as it sounds.

Maureen

I Am

Who am I?

much less than I was

much vaster

living in paradox

Another Day in the Garden

The light is different this morning, overcast and green. I took another round of photos, hoping the blues would be better today (they were totally washed out yesterday).

Here’s my favourite.

Maureen